Don’t be surprised if your doctor starts prescribing tobacco products. Should State Rep. Warren Chisum of Pampa have his way, doctors will soon have a direct financial incentive to get everyone dippin’ and chewin’. Chisum is, of course, a low-tax Republican who believes in the free market.

The House Committee on Public Health this week adopted the Chisum measure which would use a new tobacco tax to “lure doctors to underserved areas of the state by expanding Texas’ programs that repay physicians’ medical school loans.”

The less smokeless tobacco you consume, the less docs will get to move to poor parts of the state, the more kids will get sick. Therefore, to save the children and pay the docs, you need to take up a nasty habit.